Million-volt cane helps you walk while knocking others to the ground

This may look like a relatively normal cane, but it hides a secret. Two secrets, actually! The first secret is a flashlight, which isn't too exciting. The second secret? A million-volt stun gun. Yep.

This bad boy is illegal eight states for obvious reasons, but if you live in a freedom-loving state, a mere $103 will hook you up with the most brutal walking aid ever created. One poke with this thing will take down any muggers/petulant grandchildren in a second flat. Just make sure you don't point it in the wrong direction!

That is badass. I want one.

I would love to see one of these being used on a thief/hoodlum.